The Conventions Of Talent TV… (Part 1 of (Maybe)2)…

You know those programmes that are called things like I’d Do Anything or Over The Rainbow? Well, I reckon they should do one for Spamalot called Come On, Ya Pansy! where they have to find the next Black Knight…

Do you watch Talent TV? You know. Shows like Strictly Come Dancing, X-Factor and Masterchef, which either take advantage of the general public or provide celebrities with a vessel for getting them on screen again after fading into the background? You watch them?

Well if you do, I’m not judging your character because we all have our likes, but to me they’re shite. I fail to see how some of these shows manage to get so many series when essentially it’s pretty much the same thing over and over and OVER again. At times there are people who have genuine talent and deserve to have their time on the screen to show what they can do. But, if you don’t mind, you won’t find me watching.

Dancing; it all looks pretty much the same. Cooking; if you can’t taste it what the fuck is the point in watching other people eat it; for me, it’s torture “Stop cooking steak!” Singing; it all sounds the same and often you just get morons obsessed with becoming famous.

Well done, Sergeant. You cashed in well!

‘The Social Network’ Trailer – Fincher Films Facebook…

Ah, David Fincher. He’s responsible for the genius films of Seven and Fight Club among others, and now his new film, set to be released on October 1st, tells the story of how the makers of social networking site Facebook managed to turn the idea into such a worldwide phenomena. Here is the trailer for The Social Network:

Ten Of The Greatest…

OK, so yes, I attempt to write films and have learnt some knowledge about the process of how it’s done. I like anything though. I don’t consider myself a critic as critics are often idiots who think their opinions matter over anyone else’s. Hell, I even find Dodgeball and The Hangover hilarious despite their plots being pretty crap.

Nevertheless, I have my favourite films, and so I thought I’d write an article on it. You’ll probably know them all. They’re pretty predictable. But there are many many films that have been considered classics that I haven’t seen yet. The Godfather. Pulp Fiction. Goodfellas. These are just three of many. Who knows, once I’ve seen them, these ten might change.

But here they are:

IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER

‘Dad’ – Extract From A Short Film…

OK. I’m not COMPLETELY happy with this scene, but as the purpose of this blog is for me to show off my stuff, I thought I’d whack this up on here for your reading displeasure, despite some bits not being written too well.

The story is that Lucy’s Dad has just been taken into hospital after suffering a stroke. It is intended to have the feeling of an episode of Casualty or something like that, but focussed predominantly on the patients and families rather than the doctors and nurses. Hope you enjoy it!

INT. GRAHAM’S ROOM – MEANWHILE

GRAHAM (fifties) sits up in his bed, reading a newspaper. A heart monitor is beside him. NURSE WILLIAMS (twenties) enters, carrying a jug of water on a tray.

NURSE WILLIAMS

Finished, Mr. Tennacy?

She picks up the clean plate on the bedside table and places it on the tray. Graham nods and smiles.

GRAHAM

Yes, and it was as disgusting as always.

‘His Final Moments’ – A Silent Script For A Silent Film…

As it is long and kind of depressing, I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t want to read it. But here it is anyway; a silent film which I wrote for one of my modules at University. It got some good feedback so I thought I’d whack it on here to rapturous groans.

FADE IN:

EXT. COUNTRYSIDE – DUSK

A wide, expansive grassland fills our screen. Green trees and bushes line the edges of the fields. Above the horizon, a bright orange sky is patched with scattered clouds as the sun begins to set. A road winds through the fields.

We move across to reveal more of the road as it moves through the countryside. It is now in the foreground.

The SOUND of an ENGINE.

A towering wired fence comes into view, surrounding many long concrete buildings with small, barred windows placed evenly along them.